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GO BEYOND EXPECTATIONS
The 49ers lost Super Bowl LVIII in overtime to the Chiefs. Here's the mindset that helps pro athletes like Jake and Colton process heartbreak—and why it matters beyond football.
How They Turned the Page After Devastating Loss
There's a moment Colton McKivitz will never forget.
He's sitting in the locker room before a preseason game. Putting on his pads. The same routine he's done hundreds of times.
But this time, something is different.
"I'm in the locker and put on my pads, and I'm sitting there and it was almost like someone flipped the page on a new season," Colton recalls. "It was one of the coolest things that I could actually feel like someone flipping a page of the next chapter."
That previous chapter ended in heartbreak. On February 11, 2024, the San Francisco 49ers made it all the way to Super Bowl LVIII in Las Vegas—and lost 25-22 in overtime to the Kansas City Chiefs.
The Devastation
For most of us, losing at the highest level is an abstract disappointment. We feel bad for a few days, maybe a week, then move on.
For the players who lived it? It's something else entirely.
"I was crushed just breaking down multiple days after that," Colton admits. "And eventually you get over it. Time passes and you get out of that and you learn from it."
Two Ways to Look at Failure
Jake Brendel has a different perspective—maybe because he's been through more adversity, or maybe because he's just wired differently.
"When you go that deep and you lose, you can really look at it two ways," Jake explains. "You can look at it as a complete waste and you can be like, well, we just didn't do this, we didn't do that, we didn't get the right end goal done."
That's one choice: Focus on the failure. Dwell on what went wrong. Let it eat at you.
"Or you can look at it as we were so close and these few things, 5, 6, 7 decisions that all of us made led us to this. Those 5, 6, 7 decisions, let's do the opposite next time and let's get back there again."
That's the other choice: Learn. Adjust. Come back stronger.
The Question Every Athlete (and Person) Should Ask Themselves
How do you come back from devastating disappointment?
The physical challenge is real. Going deep into a season, giving everything you have, then having to start over with barely any recovery time.
"Your body feels like you've just gotten hit by a train," Jake says. "And it really is a grind to get back into it. But you have to do it. Mentally, physically, you have to get out of bed, go to the gym, start working out, get on the field."
The alternative is quitting. And that's not an option.
But here's what matters: Once you're back in it, you remember why you do this.
"And that's what's so cool is because once you start getting back into it, it's like, oh yeah, this is what I'm meant to do. This is what I love doing. And although it's not easy, it's definitely something that I love doing."
The Moment the Page Turns
For Colton, there was a specific moment when everything shifted—sitting in that locker room, feeling the weight of the new beginning.
"It was one of the crazy experiences just feeling that it was like, dang, all right, now it's the next chapter and being able to put that behind and learning the lessons."
That's the key: You can't move forward while carrying the weight of the past. At some point, you have to consciously decide to turn the page.
"We talked about those 5, 6, 7 decisions that were made and learning from that. That way they don't happen again," Colton says. "And new ones are going to be made anyway. So you try and mitigate those ones."
This is the reality of elite competition—and life: You'll make mistakes. The question is whether you learn from them.
The Universal Lesson
Most of us won't play in a Super Bowl. Most of us won't experience that specific type of public, high-stakes failure.
But we'll all face disappointment. We'll all fall short of something that mattered deeply to us. We'll all have moments where we're "crushed" and need time to process.
Jake and Colton's approach offers a framework:
Feel it. Don't skip the grief. "I was crushed just breaking down multiple days after that." The pain is real. Honor it.
Choose your narrative. Is this a complete waste, or is this education? Frame it as learning, not losing.
Identify the lessons. What were those 5, 6, 7 specific decisions that led here? Get specific. Learn them.
Turn the page. At some point, you have to consciously move forward. You'll know when it's time.
Reconnect with love. Remember why you're doing this in the first place. "This is what I'm meant to do."
The Bottom Line
Disappointment is universal. What separates those who succeed from those who don't isn't the absence of failure—it's how you respond to it.
Jake and Colton chose to learn. To adjust. To come back.
"Time passes and you get out of that and you learn from it," Colton says.
That's the lesson. Not that you won't fail. But that failure doesn't define you.
What defines you is what you do next.
